‘Curzons'

How's life for my favourite martyr?
Someone's best husband; favourite father
You look good…your voice is good…you're doing well…
Hence the own-brand Cava!

There's something in the town, I'm sure you've…?
Yes, you've heard!
Trouble is, times are tight, no rooms left
…Silly me, it's to do with work!
There's this thing going down
And I'd sincerely love to get
I don't suppose you…no?
Oh, sure…and it'd be way over my head…

Your mind is hectic…
Maybe swallow some more polemic…?
Hey, you could write a book, or even start a blog –
That'd send it epidemic!

I've seen that flag you wield
But sadly – and, so far – I've failed
To feel inspired by a pair of greying Y-fronts
Being buffeted by the gale…
I've tasted the elixir you crave
And I'm resolutely unconvinced
That we share anything more unique
Than expressions that make us wince…

Your aunts, your uncles, your cousins…
Don't worry, I'm sure they know!
Well, if I can't get where you're coming from
No doubt they won't get where you go…
My extended family? You've got to love them…
I dare say they've got no clue
And, though they'd learn from the experience
I'd really rather they don't meet you!

I'd really rather they don't meet you…

Hey, maybe indulge in a bit of male privilege
And ‘Hergest Ridge'?
Ah, shit…
Ain't life a bitch…?